MAKE THE CHANGE

Preface

Preface

What is all this about and why now?…

OK this is a remake of this podcast. A little over a year and a half has gone by, during which time Ive let everything sit. Nothing new has happened in terms of being connected to this podcast so Ive had time to think and as a result of all this thinking, I decided that I wanted to make the episodes shorter, without leaving out any of the vital information that they contained. Ive also decided to work backwards so that you understand the purpose behind this podcast. I feel that the simplest way to help you understand where this came from would be to tell you about one of the visions that I had. 

Visions aren’t something that ran in my family. As far as I know, the only person that had ever had a vision was my grandmother, and that vision was related to me. She had contracted a nearly fatal bout of tetanus while in her second trimester with my mother and while the illness did not claim her life, it did claim her hearing. She cared for me often when my parents both worked and once, when I was about two, I became very ill with a very high fever. The fever wouldn’t go down with medicine. I remember shivering all day because she kept me practically uncovered with wet hand towels all over my body to keep the fever from rising above 104. She was alone and scared and turned to the one thing she had left, prayer. She says that she prayed that God help her because she didn’t know what to do. It was late and we ad to go to sleep and she was afraid that my condition would worsen overnight while we slept and that something would happen to me due to her being unable to hear me crying or calling for help. That night, she put me next to her to sleep and was awakened by a very bright light. She turned to face me and says that she couldn’t believe her eyes. Before her was a figure surrounded by a blinding white light. The figure was leaning over me with his arms outstretched, and although he did not speak aloud, she heard him tell her not to worry, that he would care for me and that I would be OK. She blinked her eyes repeatedly in disbelief and then turned to get her glasses. In that instant, the light disappeared, taking with it the figure that it surrounded. She told me that story so many times, always reminding me of my guardian.

My first vision occurred when I was in 2nd grade. We had been talking about God in school and about how He was “ infinite” … a concept that I couldn’t wrap my mind around. As human beings, our life is finite. We know that it has a beginning and en end, and I count comprehend how something could just “ always be”. So I started asking God what that meant. I would think about it a lot, because this abstract concept was really interesting to me. One day while when mass ended  ( and I should take this time to say that  even though I was raised Roman Catholic, I never really considered myself a part of any one religion , therefore, this podcast isn’t at all about religion, I just wanted to put that out there from now) When I was asked to share what I knew, I was specifically asked to share it with “ the whole of humanity” and that’s actually literals how I was told and so that’s exactly what I set out to do. I’m sorry I went off on a tangent, but it came up and its important for me to mention… the equality of human beings in the eyes of God regardless of what path you have chosen in order to serve Him. What matters is how we choose to live.

Anyhow, as I was saying earlier, one day, when mass ended, my mom took my hand and started walking me towards the back of the church, to wait for my dad to finish his ushering duties ( for those of you who don’t know, an usher is a volunteer that helps out during mass).  And as we reached the last pew, everything went black before me. I felt at peace, and even though it I couldn’t see anything, I remembering being able to tell that the darkness before me was vast and extended far beyond what I could see. Almost immediately, I saw what I can only describe as sparks, the same effect that steel makes while rubbing against a grinding wheel, and they appeared near the top center of the darkness, a few feet in front of me. It started moving slowly in a clockwise direction, leaving behind a bright, visible trail of light that continued to spark even after the front end moved on. As the spark continued in its circular path, a very deep and growing understanding of eternity fell over me. At 8 years old, I was probably the only person on earth that fully understood what eternity felt like, and moreover, what it was. And moreso, I knew exactly who had just shown it to me. The spark completed its path to create a perfect circle, and just like that, my mom tugged at my arm in an annoyed tone and asked me what was wrong with me ( apparently I had stopped walking when I the vision began and based on her tone, I assume she must have tried calling my name a couple of times while I was preoccupied). And as quickly as the vision began, it had ended, taking with it the full understanding that I had just experienced. The deep knowledge that had just been shared with me had instantly become a memory, because to this day, I can only remember how it felt to understand what I had known better than anyone, on that day.  There were some other occurrences but I only remember them vaguely.

I didn’t have visions again until about a year and a half ago, and this time the visions were incessant. For now, I will tell you the only one that you need to know. Like my vision in second grade, these began and ended just as abruptly. The difference of course was their content. This series of visions began in an infinite looking white space, free of walls or floors or celings.  All I could see was the white that surrounded us and even though I couldn’t see it, I could tell that, this one took place in a confined space; confined by something that I couldn’t see. To my right, stood my guardian; silent and stoic. I turned to him, looking for some indication in his expression about what we were doing here. When I turned back, 10 feet in front of me, stood a demon. His entire body was dark and His skin was shiny, his exterior reminded me of an insect even though he seemed to have a human-like figure. His face was not human. He was not much larger than me. My guardian still stood next to me and I could feel God’s presence, so I didn’t run, but I felt fear and that fear froze me. The demon vanished into nothing and I heard God say “ Fear nothing”.  The vision ended. This same vision was to recur several more times. . . Unsure of their purpose, but awaiting clarity. Several days later, I had the same vision, except that during this vision, I had no knowledge of the previous vision. And, I still had no idea what I was supposed to do. Nothing was said to aid me to guide me, and so I stood frozen and quiet… not so afraid this time, yet too afraid to react. It was almost as if I were experiencing de ja vu, where you feel like you just repeated a scenario that has happened before ( but you still don’t know what happens afterwards).  I started to think maybe I was expected to confront the demon and, of course, I wanted to do what God expected of me, but my fear kept me immobilized and so I hesitated way too long and before I could choose to act, The demon disappeared, and like before, the vision ended with nothing other than “ Fear nothing”.  Some weeks passed and eventually, I had another vision. While my surroundings were the same, this time, I was aware of my previous encounters. I stood by my guardian, patiently waiting for the demon to be presented to me again. I still didn’t know exactly what I was expected to do, it is was anything in particular I was supposed to be saying, but I did know that I was to “ fear nothing”. After all, that was the only instruction that I had received unto this point, and I wanted to show God that trusted Him and in what He was telling me ( which was basically that no one would have power over me unless it was bestowed by Him). I started to think that maybe this was a training of some kind and that the demon was just a prop… So, with fear in my heart and courage on my sleeve I decided to charge the demon. I mustered up all of the bravery that I had in order to start charging it. I was so scared but I also trusted what Gods voice kept telling me. I let out a low growl and took my first running step while partially hunched over. I don’t know what I was thinking… like I was a linebacker on a football field setting up for a tackle.  The growl turned into a roar as I charged forwards and before I got too close, it vanished… the vision ended- no words this time… and needless to say, I understood that, once again, I had not done what I was supposed to do. It was a several weeks after that vision that I had the final vision of this kind… The vision began identically to all the others. My guardian stood by be, silently as usual, looking forward, and I could feel God’s presence. I was aware of all of my failed attempts from visions past. I awaited the arrival of the Demon, but this time something had changed in me… it wasn’t my behavior… it was something else; something that I can only imagine resulted from finally succeeding in putting every virtue that I had been sent into practice. The change that I experienced was in my perspective. This time, when the demon was presented, I felt no anxiety or fear. No anger or apprehension. From the moment that I laid eyes on it, all that I felt was an overwhelming surge of compassion… and of love. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around it so that it could feel God’s love and mercy through my embrace.  I instinctively began walking towards it and I noticed something different for the first time in its face… The closer I came to it, the more nervous it seemed ( and now, the thought crossed my mind that maybe, this demon wasn’t just a prop) maybe this wasn’t just a lesson or a test…. In an instant, the brutal reality hit me that this thing was real…. he seemed uneasy and apprehensive, and this time, it was he who stood frozen in fear, and it wasn’t until the very moment that I went to embraced him,  that he vanished into my arms. The vision did not end there. It lasted long enough for me to feel that God was pleased. I turned towards my guardian, who for the first time, smiled, and the vision ended. That night I couldn’t sleep and the following morning I was asked to do His work. That work is the information that you will find here. 

You see because of the relationship with God that I had had throughput my life, I always assumed that when He needed me to fulfill my end of His work, that it would be in battle. I always wondered when my training would begin, how long it would take me to learn how to fight. You see, I always assumed that when people talked about the end involving a war, I always naturally assumed it would be a bloody one. I know this might sound far fetched, but growing up Catholic, they teach you about the final battle and all this stuff, so that’s what Im referring to here. I was a little kid ready to go to battle for God. But, it wasn’t until I was grown up and had these visions that I realized that we are not called to fight a war … but rather we are called to fight to win back those who have been lost in a war that humanity has been fighting since the beginning of time. And instead of weapons and tactic, we need to become skilled in love and compassion and acceptance… along with every other virtue that you will find within these pages. I wish that I could show you all what I know… but all I can do is provide you with the same tools that I was given, in order to give you the opportunity to gain the deep understanding that you will have once you learn how to apply them. The same tools that so many have suffered, been tortured, and died to give us.  

So, I hope this reaches as far out as was intended. Share it with as many people as you can.